I Luv My Emails

It was Harriet that once asked me to put some form of email thing on my site, ages ago.
I'm going to thank her, because the emails I've been getting recently are just plain awesome.
Here's a selection of some of them:

Name: fucku
Subject: fuck u
Comment: your a fucking wanka and if I saw u in the street i'd beet the shit out u.

Thanks Mr Fucku. That really told me. I'm sure your street fighting skill is better than your spelling, and that you'd "beet" me up good and proper.

Name: Swimwearguy69
Subject: I think you're gorgeous
Comment: Hi I once saw you on your cam when you *censored*. I still have the video. Just wanted YOU to NO I'm still WATCHING YOU! You're a BIG guy so wondered if we could MEET sometime for a drink? I live in *removed* Is that anywhere near YOU? I've got a MYSPACE account so you can see what I look like. Go to *removed* Maybe you'll email me soon? See ya HOT BOY! xxxXXXXxxx

Right.
As I pointed out to you when this ACCIDENTAL camera footage occured, it was ACCIDENTAL. My messages to you at the time weren't me playing hard to get, I was telling you to leave me alone. You were the main reason I disabled email and chat features on my cam all those months ago, because telling me you want me to wear tight speedos IS NOT something I want to hear.
And you live so far away from me it's unbelievable. And dude, ponytails are NOT COOL.
Please destroy that video you crazy homopsycho.

Name: MrIdiot
Subject: Hello
Comment: Hello

Um... hi!

Please keep them coming, and thanks to everyone that thinks I'm a tool but actually agree with the things I write. Now I know so many people read this thing I'll try harder to update it more often.

Now with added email

Not surprisingly, my stalker was the first to spot the fact I've added a contact form to this site. The link is over there on the right.
He didn't surprise me by getting his email wrong so even if I wanted to reply to him I can't. Anyway, he looks at my web cam at least a squillion times a day so he doesn't need my emails. He's probably creaming himself that he's got his own couple of paragraphs about him right here actually.

"Friends"

Possibly the first time ever in my life I made an effort to keep in touch with people.
It's a rare thing. Out of everyone I've ever met in the last ten years through work, I've kept in touch with approximately 2 people. One is my current boss, the other I spoke to about a month ago so I'm not sure that counts.

I recently tried to increase that number to 5 by keeping in touch with the people who were most important to me I met through the wonderful Litten Tree.
Unfortunately, I shouldn't have bothered.
Actually, scrub that. I'm glad I did bother, because I got to say goodbye to them. They didn't know I was meeting them with the mind that it was going to be the final time I'd see them because then it would have gotten complicated; I'd rather just disappear from peoples lives. If they make an effort, so be it. If they don't, then I'll vanish.

People aren't the same when you meet them outside of work.
I knew Person 1 wasn't the greatest of people, but I figured it was worth checking. Turns out I was right in my assesment of them being a bad person, but they were much, much worse. The crazy thing is, they're more like me than I think they realise.
Person 2 clearly now can't be bothered as they're busy throwing their life away.
The last one I saw is Person 3, who is a great person I'd love to see more of. Unfortunately, they know me too well and so won't be keeping in touch for long.
I met them last week, possibly for the last time which is a shame. But then I'm blaming myself mostly as I shouldn't be the person I am.
I guess what I have to offer isn't something they want anymore. It's not very often I say this, but I really hope I'm wrong with this one.

Now I'm meeting new people and repeating the cycle of lies and using them for my own personal gain.
It's called perfecting my art.

Life is pointless

Yikes! Depressing title alert!
Although it's not really depressing because it's hard for me to get depressed about anything. I recall being depressed just once in my life, and that was in 2001 with a valid reason.
Since then, I've had no reason to be depressed. Just mildly annoyed. But I digress...

I had a conversation with someone yesterday and it breifly touched upon what happens when you die. As you do.
Anyway, my belief system is thus: you live, then die, and that's it.
There's no soul. No heaven nor hell. No re-incarnation. No angels. And no ghosts.
When you die, it's oblivion. Which leads me to the title really: life is pointless.

The opportunity to be a bar/nightclub manager has recently presented itself. Since it's something that's always interested me I'm tempted. But I've held off any decision with this opportunity because it's hard to know what choice to make.
If I become a such a manager, it'd be easy for it to suck my life away. I don't know any manager that doesn't do upwards of 50 hour weeks. My home-study and web design work would take a back seat as work would dictate my time. There's also the matter of free time and how much I value it, and the fact that being able to lie in bed till 1pm is a good thing.
Given the choice of being a web designer or a bar manager I'd choose web designer any day of the week.

But not today, because I now realise life is pointless.
I could work my ass off to try and become a full-fledged web designer with my own business. There's no gaurantee I'd make it. In fact, it's possible that work would be just as unstable as being a DJ.
Or I could take the job that's landed on my lap without having to lift a finger, that'll pay me the money I want to get me through life and pay the bills.

The bottom line is I want to get through life with as little effort as possible, because ultimately it doesn't mean jack when you die.

Muhammad cartoons

A Danish newspaper exercising it's right to free speech in a democratic society prints a satorical image of Muhammad.
One of them depicts Muhammad wearing a bomb as a turban. In doing so, it annoys Muslims all over the world for implying that the peaceful Islamic religion is actually one of death and suicide bombers.
And so there was a backlash with the Danish embassy in Lebanon being burnt to the ground as thousands took to the streets throwing bricks at the police.
I imagine that the following conversation took place beforehand:

Muslim Man #1: Holy crap look at this.
Muslim Man #2: What?
Muslim Man #1: It's a cartoon of Muhammad as a suicide bomber, implying that our peaceful Islamic faith is based upon death, violence and destruction.
Muslim Man #2: That's outragious! I suggest we take action!
Muslim Man #1: Yes brother. We'll riot with weapons and target the police, then once they're retreating from our rampaging horde we'll burn down the embassies of any European country that printed the pictures.

Have these extremist morons got a brain?
The day after the pictures were printed, mask-wearing gunmen stood outside the embassy that is now a burnt out ruin and said they'd take their revenge.
Hello? You take exception to your faith being tarnished as violent so you strap up your AK-47 and torch buildings in your defence? I'm waiting for a suicide bomber to take out a bus or cafe and have an "Islamic" faction say it was in retaliation for a cartoon.

Or how about this conversation that probably took place in England:

Muslim Man #1: That newspaper in Denmark is dissing our religeon making us out to be suicide bombing nutters!
Muslim Man #2: No way! Let's make some placards calling for more suicide bombs in London. Once a few martyres take out several dozen innocent by-standers they'll think twice before doing it again!

The sad thing is, those laughably stupid "Muslims" actually did that. They also called for the bombing of the BBC and America, even though they both had nothing to do with it. The BBC for crying out loud!

It's a shame religion can't be scrapped tomorrow. The world would be a safer and happier place without a shadow of a doubt.

How to create peace in the Middle East

They have a real problem with us Westerners don't they? Why?
Because they're jealous, that's why. I can't think of any other explanation, and I've been racking my considerable brain for a very long time.
Lets take a look at the main reasons why the Middle East mostly hates us:

The Women
Now lets be honest here, chaps: would you want to have sex with that? Really?
No wonder the men would rather blow themselves up than live a decent family life with that waiting for them at home.
Maybe if the women made more of an effort, the men wouldn't be so frustrated as to want to destroy Western culture.
But then it isn't really the woman's fault though is it. It's the men who decide what the woman does. They have no freedom of thought or expression.
Welcome to hell, ladies! There's no wonder more women are now suicide bombers.

The Home
With any luck your home hasn't been hit by an Israeli gunship, bazooka'd by a crazy Palestinian, bombed by the Americans, or used as a terrorist refuge by their neighbours.
Your toilet is a hole in the back room. If you use a flush, it's chucking a bucket of water in the general direction of the mess.
With sand blowing in through the glassless windows, you huddle on the floor and enjoy your only means of entertainment: Arabic prayer singing on the wireless.
Then later on, mother slops the daily sewage into the street for the kids to play in, before dad takes his AK-47 and goes firing it in the air for no reason.

Transport
There isn't much to say here really.
Cars from Western society are obviously frowned upon. So it's old Eastern Bloc design. 1970's Lada all the way, maybe a good old Yugo.
Pollution a-plenty on roads fit for nothing but donkeys.

Tourism
That's right folks! Climb aboard the bus and watch out for someone wearing baggy clothes. What's that? They all wear baggy clothes!? Well, any one of them could blow up at any second!
Buses, cafes.... pretty much anywhere crowded is an ideal place to explode that C4 strapped to your stomach and kill as many innocent people as possible to further your cause.
Hell knows what their cause is. No doubt something to do with America.

With all the crap in their world, who do they lash out at? Why, the people who have everything better than them, that's who!
We have a better quality of life, drive better cars, live in cosy houses, and don't have scary looking men with huge moustaches strutting down the road with firearms.
Because their lives and countries are so naff, they take it out on us.

We need to drag this sorry part of the the planet out of the Stone Age and introduce it to the civilised world.
The women need to be allowed to be their own people and dress in clothes that reveal a bit of leg - shaved leg that is.
Ikea need to open a few stores over there and get them to take a bit of pride in their homes.
McDonalds would do a roaring trade. Introduce Pepsi to the masses, and Playstation and Neighbours and Christianity.
If the Middle East were more like the West, they wouldn't have any of the problems they have now. And we wouldn't have terrorism to fear because they would actually want to make a better life for themselves rather than destroy those of us who have what they don't.
It would take a long time, and they probably wouldn't want helping because they like to kill each other; it's the uncivilised way they live.

The people of the Middle East need to ask themselves this question:
Why is that we're the oldest civilisation on the planet with the most expensive and abundant natural resource that every other country needs, yet we're mostly living in mud huts and our most prized possession is a donkey?
I'd love to know what their answer is.

Actually, screw that. Here's a nice quick and simple solution for the Middle East problem:

Re-install... again

For what feels like the umpteenth time in the last few months, I've had to re-install Windows.
This is down to the fact that Flash 8 refused to work anymore. It was my only course of action since I tried installed previous versions of Flash and they too refused to work. All very odd.
I did try a repair install of Windows. It made me PC unbootable. The only reason I didn't set my PC on fire that very second is because I'd have had to tidy the mess.

So yes, a fresh install of WindowsXP is on. It's kind cool, because my PC runs super fast.
But then it's kinda crap, because it means sitting here for the next couple of hours putting everything back onto PC.
Flash works now though. If it goes wrong again this year, I'm going to hunt me a local chav single parent and kill them.

PC Frustration

Why is it that PC's are just crap?
They seem to go wrong with me a lot, and it's always on a Tuesday.
Ok, maybe not always Tuesday, but it feels like it.

My PC has decided that the one program I use all the time (Flash 8) isn't allowed to work anymore. No warning, no reason, it just won't work.
I've tried re-installing it over the present install. Didn't work.
I then removed it and re-installed it. Didn't work.
I've tried every removal, repair or re-install combination I can think of and it just doesn't want to know.

As I type this, I'm into the 3rd hour of trying, and that was my last attempt to make it work. It didn't.

Why? Hell knows.
It means that all the fancy shiznit I have in my head that I want to do with the top banner of this site can't be done, and every menu or splash intro for other peoples sites can't be opened.
All this makes me want to kill someone.