And now, some emails!

My inbox has been busy the last few months or so.
I've had one or two nice emails which is always a good thing.
I had one death threat, thanks for that.
Mostly I received lots of insults from bad spellers. In fact, I dare say the majority of the bad spellers are friends who know each other. I say that because I had a run of emails that are all rather similar and all from females latching on to my dislike of fat.
I'll get on to those.

First off all, hello to Kerry who sent me a blank email. It'd be cool if it was the Kerry I think it is, and she knows who she is. Next time, Kerry, say more than your name, it'd be good to hear from you.

Hello to Swimwearguy69 who still wants naked pictures of me. The answer is still no, now please die.

Now this is where things go a little bizarre for my inbox...

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Name: Ashleigh
Email: 06colea
Comments: Hello
I'm a student from Stratton Upper School in Bedfordshire, i was wondering whether it would be possibly to use a few of your pictures for my work. I'd like to add that this will be seen by no one else but me and my teacher.

Thank you again

Ashleigh

Name: Janna jeeves
Email: 06jeevesj
Comments: Hello
I am janna student from stratton upper school in bedfordshire, i wondered if it would be possible if i could use some of you pictures for my work. I would also like to add that none of the photos i get will be shown to any except my teacher. Thank you I hope to hear from you.

Hmm... suspicious... Two emails almost the exact same. I'd love to reply to them, but it'd help if they left an email address.
They were polite enough at least. I'd just love to know how any of my pictures on here could be used in a school project. Weird as hell.
If either of you read this, please mail me back because I'm dying to know.
Until then, no you don't have permission to use anything on here. I'll never know of course so you can happily rip my site of anything you want. I hope you feel guilty if you do that though.

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Name: kelly cooper
Email: afton_12_@hotmail.com
Comments: i think ur a tight fisted wanker. ur probably fatter than half the friggin UK!!! u have got a attitude problem n u need to sort it out whats ur problem u gym freek?? im a size 8 an wud prefer to be fat than thin coz ur obsessed with yourself an iv prob got more pubes on ma hair than round ur balls. You picture has bin airbrushed u ugly mong

This one is my favourite! Let's address each point...
i think ur a tight fisted wanker
I'm tight fisted for sure. I hate spending money on anyone other than myself, unless it benefits me in some way.
ur probably fatter than half the friggin UK!!!
I'm not fatter than half the UK, although I have no statistical data to back that up. I will say that my current weight of 11st 1lb is a healthy weight for someone of my height, 5ft 10in.
u have got a attitude problem n u need to sort it out
My attitude is just fine thanks, but maybe that's subjective. I don't have a problem making friends or working with my peers so I might be ok.
whats ur problem u gym freek??
Freak is spelt with an "a". I'm not a gym freak. For a start it cost too much and I can't be bothered to go. However I do work out because I like to keep trim and fit. But thanks for noticing that I work out! Clearly it's paying off if you think I have a gym membership.
im a size 8 an wud prefer to be fat than thin coz ur obsessed with yourself
So you're slim and a healthy size, but you want to be fat because I'm obsessed with myself...? Honestly, I have no response to this. It's like me saying "I'm going to chop off my hand because cans of coke are mostly red" or something. You're just weird!
an iv prob got more pubes on ma hair than round ur balls
You grow pubic hair ON YOUR HAIR...? That's some talent. Maybe you meant to say "more pubes on my head", but then that implies you grow pubes on your head and that just isn't normal!
Whatever, I shave my balls anyway because it's more hygienic. So wherever you grow pubes, on your hair or on your head, you have more than me because I get rid of mine.
You picture has bin airbrushed
Nope! My skin is naturally like that. But I'm flattered you think it's been airbrushed.
u ugly mong
OK!

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Name: amy
Email: amez@bellsouth.net
Comments: hi...i just wanted to say that your an asshole. I big fat disgusting asshole! Oh btw, my email is valid,but you will be blocked. Don't waste your time emailing me back..i just wanted to say how horrible I think you are and no im not some fat disgusting person, but I am a person that knows bigger people have feelings too. You are so so sad.

Hi!
Thought I'd post your email here. Hope you don't mind. I hope your spam filter is good because it's going to be working overtime now I posted it on here I'd have thought.
Anyway, nice work defending "bigger" people. You slipped up on two counts though:
1. You used the words "big fat disgusting" as an insult. You're attacking me for my views on large people, yet you use "fat" as an insult and thereby disregard the very feelings of the people you're trying to defend! I'm sure fat people everywhere don't like their demographic being used as an insult. You should have just stuck with asshole.
2. You say you aren't a fat disgusting person. You just called fat people disgusting. Bravo.

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Name: jerk
Email: sgfdhbggfad@hotmail.com
Comments: I cannot believe that you are this much of a freak. this web site is disgusting and I do hope you go to hell for that. you fing jerk!

Thank you, nameless coward.
I think that email is fake you know.
Here's their IP address though: 24.113.12.20
My email form is clever like that!

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Name: Rachel
Email:
Comments: I think youre a one-minded contradiction. You have no truth in your statements and write purely to boost your misplaced ego. I hope you rot

*sigh*

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Name: susan
Email: lilmejor@yahoo.com
Comments: i hope you burn in hell for being such a disgusting waste of life.

What makes me laugh is that I express my opinions on my own personal web site. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, believe it or not.
But it looks like this particular group of overweight girls got together during a house party where they cried about not being able to get a boyfriend and decided to hurl insults in my direction because they disagree with what I think.
No debate. No reasoned argument to try and persuade me that I'm wrong. Not even decent punctuation or spelling.

Instead, because I give a reasoned argument as to why I don't like a particular section of our society, they see fit to wish me dead and spend eternity in a fictional place of torment.

They're all 14 years old and haven't got a clue, so this isn't a "boo hoo emo they don't like me sniff sniff" post because I really couldn't care less. They've ignored my arguments as to why I say what I say because they're immature and closed-minded and unable to grasp the concept of rational debate.

I might not shine with the brightest of lights with my almost fascist views on some things, but I don't care. It's what I think, I try my best to back up my arguments with facts, and ultimately I'm entitled to my own thoughts and beliefs.

I'm just glad I'm not like those people above, sending insults and death threats to a complete stranger just because I don't agree with what they're saying.
The only other people I know who do that are terrorists. Yes, I'm comparing the above 14 year old fatties to Islamic extremists. Might as well.
I insult fat people with my opinions and beliefs, these kids wish me dead.
A school teacher let her class of kids name a teddy Mohammed, Islamic extremists wish her dead.
Same thing, same mentality.
Pathetic.

Anyway, keep the emails coming! They're a great read!

I'm still alive

Yes it's been a while, but I'm alive.
To recap the last year, I got a day job and DJing is now an enjoyable hobby rather than my main income. Although I quit my nightclub because it was totally screwing up my ears.
My day job is office based doing video editing and graphical design promotions which are displayed nationally on TV. I also do voice overs for those promotions.
It's a pretty cool job and I work with cool people. To make it even better, it's all just 10 minutes away from where I live.
I had a phone call about a sudden interview on a Wednesday. Had the interview on the Thursday. Got the job there and then and started on the Friday. Not bad to say it was my first ever interview going for my first ever "real" job.
I've been there since April and I'm happy.

CLIMATE CHANGE IS A MYTH!

OK I know I put that in caps, and it's not strictly true as the climate changes all the time.
However, believe the government and we're all doomed if we don't stop polluting the world driving to work.

It's absolute crap, all of it.

Why? Because the planet was warmer 125,000 years ago. And 240,000 years ago. Oh, and about 330,000 years ago... I could go on throughout history.
55.8 million years ago, during the Eocene epoch, alligators frolicked in swamps near the north pole, and Alaska was covered in palm trees. Unsurprisingly, there weren't many people driving back then.

It just so happens that todays climate coincides with our existence. And that's it.
Global temperatures are going through a warm period. We, as humans, are polluting the planet. Some scientists draw their conclusions and hey presto: you have the magic formula for raising taxes.
Back in November last year (2006), Gordon Brown raised petrol duty claiming it to be a green tax. Airlines are charging more thanks to a Green Duty, because planes are supposedly making the world warmer and killing us all. They're using the fear of global destruction by heat as an excuse to get more money by taxing us for something that ultimately has little if no baring on the global temperature.

Our ancient ancestors merrily swung in the trees with temperatures way higher than what they are now, and they didn't have power stations, cars, or even fire.

If the human race is still around in a few thousand years, they'll be worring about how they're going to keep warm as vast glaciers flow on 50% of the worlds oceans.

It's just annoying how we're being shown the facts from the last hundred or so years showing a rise in temperature, when the facts could easily have been from any period in the Earths history. When we're shown the short term, of course it looks bad. But span the global temperatures out a million years and it's plain to see todays temperature is positively chilly in comparison to what it's been like for our ancient ancestors.

"Single Awareness Day"

Or Valentines Day. VD for short.

Welcome to the most unimaginative, manipulative, shallow, consumerist orientated day of the year.
February 14th is primarily designed to make people miserable and/or confused. It's an invention of glorious capitalism, where big business can be made through the sale of fat-creating chocolates, over-sized cards with crap slushy poems, and cuddly toys holding hearts with slogans like "I Wuv U". I ought to market teddy bears like the one on the right with my own cynical slogans and make a fortune.

I look on the people who fall for this day with contempt. They fall for the banners in the windows, the slogans and the TV adverts that say the straight-to-video romantic-comedy is "the perfect gift for Valentines". They've fallen for the transparent nothingness that is the product of a money-grabbing fat-cat boss who wants to make his shareholders happy.
They think that by buying an overpriced cuddly toy and card, then paining themselves for days over the poems inside shows they care. They even think it'll win the heart of the person they like.
Maybe it works, but then that person is a fool as well.

The single people who aren't in a relationship look at the day differently: they get nothing and consequently feel unloved, rejected and make them question what is wrong with them that they're oh-so lonely.

VD gets harder when you're in a relationship. Because, let's be honest, who cares?
As soon as February arrives boyfriends up and down the country moan just a little bit more and watch the day loom ever closer wondering what the hell to do this year.
Some men are lucky: their girlfriends recognise the day for the putrid nonsense that it is and say they don't want anything.
Some men are unlucky in that their girlfriends say they don't want anything, when really they mean they do.
Every year, these unlucky men feel obliged to do something every year, knowing that the woman in his life will be telling all her friends what they did/didn't do. You'll either be hailed as a great boyfriend by everyone through your cliched dinner, flowers and chocolate routine. Or you'll have your girlfriends friends telling her she can do better and get a man who cares because he let the day slide.

I for one will be ignoring the day.
Although nobody knows how Valentines Day started, which makes the day even more ridiculous, I could celebrate in the way it is widely suggested: drag a priest from his church, beat him to within an inch of his life then chop off his head proclaiming Christianity to be evil.

I think I'll watch a film with fast cars, explosions, maybe starring Arnie killing lots of people with big guns and one-liners. I'll revel in my own male chauvinism and eat chocolate I bought for myself: I won't buy them for a woman because I don't want her to get fat. See? I'm all heart.

NOW you can call me vain...

On my right check I had what is known as a "Spider Naevus", which for me was a congenital circumscribed growth on the skin, coloured by hyperpigmentation and increased vascularity.

In other words, a bad vein.

It was about the size of your average large mole, measure 3mm in diameter. Since it wasn't there last year, it's clearly grown. So after asking the doctor what it was I was sent to a dermatologist.
The dermatologist then told me what it was and it was up to me what I did with it.

I instantly booked private laser treatment.

It's cost me £80 in total to have this nasty red blotch on my face zapped off with a medical laser. I know I could have left it, but every time I looked in the mirror or had my photo taken, all I could see was this red mark. Some days it would glow brighter red than other days. It annoyed the crap out of me and made me think I was a minger.
Now, 4 hours after the treatment the red botch has been replaced with a slowly growing bruise surrounded by slight redness. It looks a squillion times better than what it did, so I can't wait to see it once the redness and bruising dies down.

For the next 6 weeks I'm not allowed to go tanning, and I have to apply aloe vera gel to the mark every day to help the healing and keep muck away from it. Whenever I go outside I've got to apply high factor sunblock.
I've got a follow-up appointment in 8 weeks time to make sure I've healed good. It's doubtful I'll need repeat treatment as well which is cool.

The actual procedure lasted about 30 seconds, if that.
It felt like I was being scratched with a needle. It didn't hurt, but it was uncomfortable. It continued to sting for about half an hour afterwards, but it's now feeling fine.

Anyway, it's something I'm not scared of having done again, which is cool.

Farepak muppets

For those that don't know, Farepak is, or rather was, a Christmas savings club. Customers paid money monthly between January and October for goods (such as hampers) and vouchers, which would be delivered in time for Christmas.
It had around 150,000 customers, and agents across the country collected clients' funds. The firm has now gone into administration and insolvency practitioners have been called in.

Thanks to the collapse of this firm, those 150,000 customers are going to get pretty much nothing. For every £1 they saved with Farepak, only 4p of it is salvageable. So for some who saved £1000, they're left with £40, if they were lucky.

A response fund was set up by nice companies and individuals who clubbed together to help the poor Farepak savers who've lost just about everything they saved for.
Donations reached £6.8 million, which fell a little short of the estimated £45 million that's been lost. But it meant that some of the people who saved with Farepak got at least some chocolate treats and crackers in time for Christmas.

Now this is where I'm left a little bemused by the whole scheme: why use it?

There's a perfectly adequate scheme in place for saving money. It can be traced back as early as the 1700's B.C. in Babylon. It can be traced back to the 12th century with the Knights Templar through Europe and the Middle East, and the modern day equivalent goes back several hundred years to the opening of the London Royal Exchange in 1565.
It's now a global necessity, the likes of which form part of the essential foundation of civilisation.

It's called BANKS.

I know! Crazy innit!
Who'd have thought of putting money away in a bank to save money for Christmas! That's just lunacy!

The news goes to some woman in her 50's looking all sad to interview her about how much she lost with Farepak, and she says nearly £2000. What's she going to do? She doesn't know, she says. Christmas is ruined.

Perhaps if she'd have put her money in a high interest bank account, she'd have not only saved her £2000, but got over £100 in interest.
She could then have bought the finest hampers known to mankind from Harrods.

Yeah it's a bit naff these people have lost everything thanks once again to faceless company bosses drinking bacardi on a sandy island somewhere hot.
But you shunned banks that have evolved over several thousand years in favour of some commission based voucher scheme company. I've not much sympathy.

Christmas music

It turns me into a crappy wedding DJ.
Don't get me wrong, I quite like some of it. I set it to play and wake me up Christmas day. A bit of John Lennon, some Wham!. Maybe a bit of Shakin' Stevens and Paul McCartney.

But as a DJ, it turns me into a crappy wedding DJ.
I want to play upfront music, r&b mostly and I like my funky house. It's what I normally play. But then December arrives and I have to play Christmas music mainly for the benefit of Christmas parties. And then it all goes wrong.

For instance, if I have to play Shakin' Stevens, I have to work it in and work it out. I can't be playing r&b and hip hop and stick some 50 Cent on straight after Shakin' Stevens. I have to surround it with similar music, so I end up playing a few 80's tracks.
My transformation to crappy wedding DJ is then complete.

Gritters

So I saw the first gritters out on the road today. You know it's getting cold when you see them on the motorway.
They do a fine job trying to keep the roads clear. You just know come winter half the roads will be a snowed under mess but hey, they do a great job.
But this isn't about the people who do the gritting.


This is an appeal to all the morons who think the right thing to do when overtaking a gritter on the motorway is to crawl past going 2mph faster.

What the hell is wrong with you?

Why would you want to slow your car down to a speed that allows the gritter to blast your car with millions of hard salt stones? You know, the highly corrosive element that eats the very stuff your car is made of?

They do my head in!
This particular gritter today was in the middle lane. Fair enough, I thought; it allows it to get a good spread on all three lanes.
But everyone was bunching up in the outside lane because some weirdo morons decided that the best course of action is to let the gritter shower their car with as much industrial strength salt as possible. Do they not know that their paint work is getting a proper kicking?

I did the only thing any sane person who cares about his car would do: I tore up the inside lane doing about 90mph. Illegal both in speed and manoeuvre, but hey, my paint work is in tact and I got the satisfaction of laughing my ass off at the idiots salt-blasting their cars at 65mph in the outside lane.

So anyway, there was an appeail in there to those slow morons holding up the motorway with their backward thinking, but just in case you missed it:
Please die.

Pope says: "God don't exist, y'all!"

OK, so he didn't quite say that, but he may as well have done.
Bare with me now!

The Popes mates - the International Theological Commission, who are a group of leading Roman Catholic theologians - have been discussing whether to abolish limbo.
Limbo is the halfway house between heaven and hell, inhabited by unbaptised infants.
If a baby dies without being baptised it can't go to heaven, apparently. Equally, it can't go to hell either because it's not committed any sins.
So instead they go to limbo, which is just a nothing place. Nice!
Still it's better than sending them straight to hell, which, as it happens, was where they went before the Catholic theologians came up with the idea of limbo. Afterall, sending babies to hell isn't very nice, so they made up limbo to make Catholics seems like nicer people and thus a better religion to follow.

This scrapping of limbo appears to be for a couple of reasons.
Firstly, the current Pope Benedict XVI never believed in it anyway by the sounds of it.
And secondly, Islam is thriving in Africa and Catholisism is losing the race because Islam sends it's dead babies to heaven; it would seem that by scrapping limbo and not sending dead babies to a nothing place will make Africans think being Catholic is cool or something.

So back to the title: the Pope saying God doesn't exist...
All religions are supposed to be dictated by a higher or divine power and yet here we have the beliefs of a religion being changed by a bunch of old men because they feel certain parts of their religion are unpopular.

Hello...?
Surely God decides what exists and what doesn't. How can a committee end the existance of a heavenly spiritual state of afterlife supposedly created by God? That doesn't make sense!
As an atheist my eyes are wide open to this blatant man-made manufacturing of a religion. It's not the word of God in the slightest. How can it be when a debating society decides whats right and whats wrong?
Old men are sitting around a table right now and deciding what happens when people die.
They can't make that decision! They don't have the power! They aren't God! God decides where people go when they die and no amount of debating will change that!

I decided that the only way to find out about this was to go to one of the worlds largest Catholic communities on the internet and ask them.
READ IT HERE.
As you can see, I didn't stand a chance.
Basically, because limbo was only an "idea", they can drop it whenever they please. My assertion that the whole basis of thier religion was formed from an idea was ignored.
I asked them lots of questions, some that were "answered" by posting lots of stuff I couldn't be bothered to read because I knew what they were saying: God says so, so it's true.
Other questions that can't be answered were ignored. Afterall, they're blinded by their faith in the supernatural.

EDIT - The link above to the Catholic forum did feature over half a dozen posts by me asking a variety of impossible to answer questions that would make the staunchest of religious zealots uncomfortable.
That probably explains why a moderator over their deleted most of my posts and the responses given.
In other words, I was censored. I must have struck a nerve.
God bless them!

BEST EMAIL EVER!

Dear ignorant piece of shit,

I found your article about wishing death upon people who have accidents on the motorway to be the most appalling piece of filth I've ever encountered on the internet. [Read the article here folks!]

Your suggestion that people who have unfortunate accidents on the motorway should slowly die from paralysis and facial disfigurement is the most inhuman and barbaric use of the English language that I'm ashamed to be classed as the same species of you.

How can you be so heartless?

I was involved in a car accident on the motorway last year. The driver in front braked suddenly and I crashed into him. Thankfully he didn't hit anyone else and he escaped major injury. Unfortunately I wasn't so lucky. Not only was my car a total loss, but I suffered a broken wrist, injuries to my face from the air bag, and still have recurring neck pain from the whiplash injuries I sustained.
All this on top of the stress of claiming damages from the driver that caused the accident has left me emotionally and physically scarred. I've been unable to drive since from this accident and your words angered me to the point of wishing YOU the same fate so you know how it feels.

If you write such terrible things that can be read by the world, expect people contacting you wishing YOU dead.

Dick.

Hi Dick.
Oh right your name is Sophie. Easy for me to make the mistake though eh?
Anyway, thanks for getting in touch. It's great to touch base with the very people who make thousands of other motorists lives a misery. At least you've done the country a favour by not driving again.

Just to address a few points if I may.
You crashed into someone. I'm quoting you there. How is that someone elses fault?
There's a variety of reasons why you crashed your car into someone on the motorway:
A) You weren't paying enough attention and braked late.
B) You were driving too close thereby not giving enough stopping distance and couldn't stop in time.
C) A combination of the two above points.
D) You're just crap at driving.

Your recurring neck injuries serve as a reminder of the day you failed society and caused thousands of innocent motorists misery by keeping them stuck for hours.
You must have hit him at some speed to suffer a broken wrist as well. Were you speeding as well as not paying attention?

And how dare you have the balls to sue the guy in front!
You even say yourself he escaped serious injury. Is that because he was able to break in time for whatever reason made him break suddenly, and the only reason he ended up in an accident at all is because of you, slamming into the back of him?
I hope he counter-sues you and takes you for thousands.

If at any time you can get back to me on how it's ok for you to wish someone (me) dead but I'm not allowed to wish such things that'd be great.
I guess we're just the same really, what with you going out of your way to send me threatening death threat emails.
Actually, Sophie the Hotmail user, if you read the terms and conditions of Hotmail you'll find that sending such emails is against their policy and probably against the law. Oops.
Don't worry, I'll pass on a copy of what you sent me so they can deal with it.
I guess if you're going to send death threats via email you shouldn't use your real email address that lets people like me look up your profile on MSN.
Speaking of your MSN profile, get a hair cut. You look like a shaggy dog. I'd quit the smoking too, there's no way you're 35. I have you in the late 40's.

Have a nice day!

Get in The Villa!

Another fine result today.
Villa 2 - 0 Charlton Athletic

Got to say it wasn't the most inspiring performance especially in the first half. I wasn't bored by any stretch of the imagination because just thinking about the noise and the atmosphere makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. But it was a bit steady first half, then the first goal came about half an hour in from Gabriel Agbonlahor and it was amazing! He tore a hole in the net from a volley that was just incredible to watch. I wish it was done at the Holte End where we were sat so I could have seen it close up. It was fantastic.
Luke Moore slotted in the second goal in the second half and sealed the game. I was hoping for three goals, but a win is a win is a win!

I went with Tony as per usual. I'm glad he's got me into this because it's such a buzz. The excitement before the match, the atmosphere as you reach Villa Park and then the game itself. The noise is incredible and I just wish I could afford to go every match because I'd be there.
The last match we went to we were killing ourselves running through the rain to see the team come onto the pitch. We didn't need to this time because we were there in plenty of time.
There was a bit of a queue in the Villa shop before the match but I was able to get the latest shirt too which felt great being able to wear.
Our next mission is to go to an away game which I really want to do. I like the idea of being totally outnumbered but cheering the team on trying to make as much noise as possible. Me and Tony would be noisy as hell singing the team on so I'd hope the other fans who went would be the same.

Anyways, I made a little blurred crap quality video of Villa coming on to the pitch. Great crowd noise. You can hear the fans singing, the tune of which I think I'm confident enough to do now because it was a bit complicated first few times I heard it.

Fat Kids

Jamie Oliver did a program last year to get school meals healthy. The proportion of fat kids is growing rapidly because of their fatty diet coupled with a lack of excercise, and Jamie's campaign got the menus changed for the better.
Now schools serve a healthy menu; pastas, salads, vegetables. Off the menu is chips and junk like sausages and burgers.
The school my sister goes to serve the junk stuff as a sort of treat, serving it only on a Friday.
All great news. Helping create a healthier generation of kids free from fat related diseases can only be a good thing. What parent in their right mind would want their kids eating chips every day of the week and processed muck from the chip shop?


Hello Julie Critchlow!
Her and her two misguided mates take kids food orders from the sanctity of the next door cemetary. They aren't allowed in the school grounds because the gates are locked. It's like feeding time at the zoo, only it's a Rotherham school not a monkey house.


They then hit the local chip shop and bring the kids their food.
Apparently the kids want their food "fresh and hot" and they're "giving the kids what they want".

Well, bravo.
Your school does it's best for your scroat kids by feeding them a balanced and nutritional meal full of essential vitamins and minerals that'll not only boost your childs concentration level in class, but will also give them a good stepping stone towards a healthier future, and you decide you'd rather pander to your kids moaning they can't eat junk food by supplying it for them.

If I were a parent of one of the kids these women was feeding, I'd bitch slap her so hard. What right does she have supplying my kid with stuff that makes him unhealthy? I'd treat her the same as the local drug dealer.
They need to reasses whats right for these children: giving them what they want, or giving them what they need.

Nanny State here we come!

Great news for all you conservative people out there: depiction of violent porn is banned!
While I type this I'm in a bit of a red-mist rage so I'm likely to rant. Here's the brief story...

A woman called Liz Longhurst had her 31 year old daughter killed by a man called Graham Coutts. He liked his strangulation porn apparently.
So now, thanks to a 3 year long campaign by Liz Longhurst and the "evidence" that "linked" her daughters killer to violent porn images, it's banned.

Obviously, if the stuff is real ban it. It's wrong, plain and simple.
But also in the ban is staged stuff: consenting adults acting out roles for the benefit of the camera is now illegal, and if I watch it I could find myself in prison for three years.

My civil liberties have just been stomped on a bit more.
If I choose to look at staged images of rape scenes or masochism, who cares? It doesn't make me want to go out and do it in real life, or kill someone.
By all means question my taste in entertainment, but don't brand me a potential killer.

Graham Coutts was clearly a bit unstable in the first place to murder someone. What he did in his spare time shouldn't have a knock on effect to all the innocent people out there that enjoy the same pass time.

If I killed someone with my pen, and in court evidence was brought forward about my fanatical obsession with pens, would they be banned? Would my mother going on a 3 year campaign about the dangers of pens and my brutal slaying of an innocent person using such an item be enough to get them outlawed?
Probably not, because it'd be obsurd. Yet viewing acted violent porn is about to be illegal because of the very same circumstances.

So what next?
Watching consenting adults in violent sex acts is going to be illegal.
What about watching films featuring murders? Gun crime? Car chases? Drug using?
All these things happen all the time every day. They feature in films all the time, and have done for decades. They're all illegal in real life yet portrayed by actors for entertainment.
Because gun crime takes place in real life, are we going to see stories about such events in film being outlawed? Are old episodes of Piorot going to be burned because some of them feature actors being murdered so that the mustacheod detective can solve the crime?

It's pathetic.

Villain

It was the first home game of the season for Aston Villa against newcomers to the premiership, Reading.
The last football match I went to was in the press box at Rotherham United when I was about 18, so being in the crowd at a premiership game was going to be something else.

My mate and boss Tony invited me along and I'm glad I went. It was an awesome experience and I'm definitely going again.
The traffic sucked so bad thanks to M6 roadworks and pricks who don't know how to drive crashing their cars and making everyone late. It wasn't helped by torrential rain.
We got to the ground a few minutes late even though we both ran, so we missed the moment when the team first comes onto the pitch. I really wanted to see that.
We were only jogging my heart felt like it was going to explode out of my chest. I don't run.

Anyways, Villa won 2-1. There was even a penalty and a sending off of a Reading player. The game had it all!
Tony was right about the seats as well: they were amazing. Cracking view of the pitch, but still far enough back to get the full force of the atmosphere from the noisy chanting fans at the back.

I just need to get my up to date shirt now.

Cure for HIV/AIDS!

It'll take a few years, but I've found a cure for this nasty disease. I dare say that my cure could even wipe it out in South Africa and could easily be used around the world.

It's estimated that about 30% of the population of South Africa has HIV, a figure that's been increasing steadily over the years; it was 24.5% at the turn of the century and the figure has been on an upward climb ever since.
In the UK, the figure is almost 79,000 living with HIV.


What my cure needs is based upon a huge conspiracy to fool the world. No small feat. But the outcome will save every world economy billions every year.
It goes a little something like this...

A new wonder drug is unleashed onto an unsuspecting world claiming to cure HIV within 2 years. The drug is an implant in the base of the skull.
Patients are shown a small implant which is said to release HIV killing super-drugs over the course of two years, in which time they'll be cured.
When their back is turned for the implant, they're actually injected with a small explosive device.
The two year time scale is needed to be able to convince as many people with the disease as possible into getting the implant. That way, every HIV carrier has a small explosive device in their brain.
When the two years is up, they are all detonated and everyone with HIV dies instantly.
Of course that'll mean approximately 38.6 million people will die instantaneously, but they'll die eventually anyway. It's just that this way they don't drain the healthcare resources of developing countries, and governments worldwide no longer have to plough taxpayers money into keeping people alive who are doomed to die.

In ten years the worldwide figure for HIV infection has almost quadrupled. If the figure is 38.6 million now and we use the laws of exponentialism, it'll be around 308 million in 2016.
Because I love numbers, by 2026 the figure is about 4.9 billion.

So I say we execute the reletively small number of people now before the disease becomes uncontrollable.
Tell me I'm wrong.